So I'm laying in bed this morning and something in my left eye very clearly, very neatly, goes "pop." I'm hoping it's my sinuses, because I'd really not like a mini-stroke, there's simply no room on my agenda.

In other news, I quit my job. Rather elated about it, which is interesting when I read back and see how happy I was to get said job. Back before I realized how nasty and ill-run the corporate company was, naturally. But at least that's 3 years of solid experience under my belt, and the money was excellent while it was coming in. I have a decent buffer.

Unfortunately, starting next month my health insurance cost will be a slick $655 per month.

I can has Canadian citizenship? :(

Continued from here...


( All Things in Time p2 )

Don't normally post these to my home journal, as my spn fanfiction ordinarily goes straight onto the deancastiel comm, but the dystopia comm format seems to require a link to one's own journal, so ...

Feel free to skip right over this if angsty supernatural angel fanfiction is not your cup of tea.

( All Things in Time )

go to part 2...

Ficcy Godmother, I need a supernatural fanfic in which Dean and Sam, in order to track down a (whatever), become volunteers at the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah. The fic should include Dean working with the horses, Sam covered in needy doggies, hallucinations of Lucifer in the kitten room, and Dean being Maudlin McSadFace whenever he goes near Angels Rest cemetery.

I forgot how good it feels to write, and hear that people like what I've created.

Surgery went well, they've removed the sweat gland under my left arm. At first Dr. Share was thinking she would need to leave it open, but the infection had gone down enough that she was able to work with a smaller incision and stitch it closed... so that'll make for a much nicer and easier recovery. I sure do love ice packs.

The percocet puts me right to sleep, so I'm trying not to use that toooo much. I think I was awake all of 4 hours yesterday.

BBCAmerica on demand finally put up episodes 4 and 5 of The Hour (rather than 1, 2, 3.... 6. )I'm watching them now.

My nephew CAMERON HAS HIS FINGER ONT HE CAPS KEY.

I only sing in one key, it seems.

I have surgery Thursday morning to remove the left sweat gland beneath my arm. I made the mistake just now of looking at images on google of others who've had this procedure, and now I think I'm going to throw up my heart.

I HOPE I'm nervous, though, because I can't seem to think of any other reason for the three days of CONSTANT LIGHTHEADED DIZZINESS other than my heart is about to explode outward. When I lie down my head spins and I can hear my own blood going FFFT in the back of my head, and it doesn't stop. I'm not talking "oh be dizzy for a few minutes until your blood pressure adjusts", it *doesn't* *stop*.

I'm so goddamn sick of being unwell.

There is a stabby, deep pain in my lower left side when I pee.

I have a headache, body aches, and generally feel like shit.

It's up to you, my crack team of misfit experts.

sleep study results: I don't snore. I don't have sleep apnea. My sleep cycle is a little odd, but levels are normal. All of my REM sleep happens at the end, but I get enough of it.

So in short: the pulmonologist says, I can't help you. I don't know why you're so tired. Maybe you're depressed?

At which point, I kinda blew up.

OF COURSE I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED. I've been tired for five years. I've been TIRED for FIVE YEARS. And every doctor points toward a different reason and nothing has helped!

MAYBE I'M DEPRESSED?

To answer my obviously upset state, he tried to console me with "Sometimes we can't find the answer, as doctors. Sometimes we never find out why."

So.

I'mma be tired forever.

I can't even, guys.

ANXIETY OVERDRIIIIIIVE


*rockets to the moooooon*